Monday, September 22, 2008

(This is from when my parents were getting divorced and my mom took me to the airport so I could go stay with my grandparents in Canada. I was around 7 or 8)

INT. AIRPORT.
Mom sits w/ Daniel and waits for his plane to board. She hands him off to a flight attendant.
INT. PLANE
The flight attendant sits him in the front seat of the coach class where there is a lot of leg room and nobody in front of you.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 1 (FEMALE)
Here we are. Do you need anything?
DANIEL
Thank you. Um, no I think I'm ok. Actually, can I have some water please?
FLIGHT ATTENDANT 1
You sure can. I'll be right back. If you need anything, you can go ahead and push that little button right up there.
DANIEL
Ok thanks.

Daniel sits there staring out the window at the baggage handlers throwing everybodies stuff onto the plane. He is holding his stuffed animal Bucky, a Beagle with marble eyes. Two fat people with two fat kids are ushered towards Daniel and bump into his row of empty seats shaking the whole thing. He imagines two elephants being led by a trainer. They sit down next to him. The kids sit on their parent's fat laps. They open two bags of potato chips. Their faces are greasy as fuck, and have scratches on them, looks like a cat made them. A male flight attendant leans over the fat people and speaks directly to Daniel.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2 (MALE)
Hello, Hi How are you? Oh, this isn't going to work. Sir, can you nudge him please?

Daniel has his headphones on.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2 (CONT'D)
Hi, Can we move you to the back please? We have to make room for all of the passengers.
DANIEL
But.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2
Thank you very much for your cooperation, we greatly appreciate your willingness to move.

He tugs Daniel out of his seat, grabs his walkman as the two fat parents almost crush it with their enormous assses.

DANIEL
That's not fair!
FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2
(mumbling) Fair? What do you know about fair kid? (under his breath he mumbles) Little fucker.
Here we are.

He pushes Daniel into his chair.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2 (CONT'D)
There you are. (sarcastically) Would you like a pillow sir?
Throws a pillow and blanket to Daniel which land on him and completely cover him.

INT. CANADA'S AIRPORT
Daniel walks off the plane by himself behind the slowest old man in the world being wheeled by a flight attendant with an oxygen thing, and the enormous fat people are out of breath and can barely make it up the ramp.

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